Love
CASE 1: Kelly Sedey had one wish,
for her boyfriend of three years,
David Marsden, to propose to her.
Then one day when she was out
to lunch David proposed!
She accepted, but then had to leave
because she had a meeting in 20 min.
When she got to her office,
she noticed on her computer she had some e-mail's.
She checked it, the usual stuff
from her friends, but then she saw one
that she had never gotten before.
It was this poem. She simply deleted it
without even reading all of it.
BIG MISTAKE! Later that evening,
she received a phone call from the police
It was about DAVID! He had been in an accident
with an 18 wheeler. He didn't survive!
CASE 2: Take Katie Robinson She received this poem
and being the believer that she was
she sent it to a few of her friends but
didn't have enough e-mail addresses to send out
the full 10 that you must.
Three days later, Katie went to a masquerade ball.
Later that night when she left to get to her car,
she was killed in that spot by a
hit-and-run drunk driver.
CASE 3: Richard S. Willis sent this poem out
within 45 minutes of reading it.
Not even 4 hours later walking along the street
to his new job interview with a really big company,
when he ran into Cynthia Bell,
his secret love for 5 years. Cynthia came up to him
and told him of her passionate crush on him
that she had had for 2 years.
Three days later, he proposed to her and they got married.
Cynthia and Richard are still married
with three children, happy as ever!
This is the poem:
Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him."
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today."
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.
Remember to always say what you mean.
If you love someone, tell them.
Don't be afraid to express yourself.
Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you.
Because when you decide that it is the right time it might
be too late.
Seize the day. Never have regrets.
And most importantly, stay close to your friends
and family, for they have helped
make you the person that you are today.
You must send this on in 3 hours after reading the letter
to 10 other people.
If you do this, you will receive unbelievably good luck in love.
The person that you are most attracted to will soon return to you.
If you do not, bad luck will rear its ugly head at you.
THIS IS NOT A JOKE!
You have read the warnings, seen the cases,
and the consequences.
You MUST send this on or face dreadfully bad luck.
*NOTE*
the more people that you send this to, the better
luck you will have.
SMILE, even through your tears!!!!
Sunday, March 25, 2007
diff betwen girls n boyzzzz
Cash Withdrawal from ATM
How a BOY withdraws cash from an ATM.
1. Park the car
2. Go to ATM Machine
3. Insert card
4. Enter PIN
5. Take money out
6. Take ATM Card out
7. Drive away
How a GIRL withdraws cash from an ATM
1. Park the car
2. Check makeup
3. Turn off engine
4. Check makeup
5. Go to ATM
6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse
7. Insert card
8. Hit Cancel
9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it
10. Insert card
11. Enter PIN
12. Take cash
13. Go to car
14. Check makeup
15. Start car
16. Stop car
17. Run back to ATM
18. Take ATM card
19. Back to car
20. Check makeup
21. Start car
22. Check makeup
23. Drive for 1/2 mile
24. Release handbrake
25. Drive on.
Cash Withdrawal from ATM
How a BOY withdraws cash from an ATM.
1. Park the car
2. Go to ATM Machine
3. Insert card
4. Enter PIN
5. Take money out
6. Take ATM Card out
7. Drive away
How a GIRL withdraws cash from an ATM
1. Park the car
2. Check makeup
3. Turn off engine
4. Check makeup
5. Go to ATM
6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse
7. Insert card
8. Hit Cancel
9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it
10. Insert card
11. Enter PIN
12. Take cash
13. Go to car
14. Check makeup
15. Start car
16. Stop car
17. Run back to ATM
18. Take ATM card
19. Back to car
20. Check makeup
21. Start car
22. Check makeup
23. Drive for 1/2 mile
24. Release handbrake
25. Drive on.
How men change
Do you think this is true about men?!
The Love Word:
After 6 weeks: I love you, I love you, I love you!
After 6 months: Of course, I love you.
After 6 years: GOD, if I didn't love you, then why do you think I proposed?
Back from Work:
After 6 weeks: Honey, I'm home!
After 6 months: I'm BACK!!
After 6 years: Have you cooked?
Phone Ringing:
After 6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
After 6 months: Here, it's for you.
After 6 years: ANSWER THE PHONE!
Cooking:
After 6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good!
After 6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight?
After 6 years: AGAIN!
New Dress:
After 6 weeks: Wow, you look like an angel in that dress.
After 6 months: You bought a new dress again?
After 6 years: How much did THAT cost me?
TV:
After 6 weeks: Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
After 6 months: I like this movie.
After 6 years: I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself!
Do you think this is true about men?!
The Love Word:
After 6 weeks: I love you, I love you, I love you!
After 6 months: Of course, I love you.
After 6 years: GOD, if I didn't love you, then why do you think I proposed?
Back from Work:
After 6 weeks: Honey, I'm home!
After 6 months: I'm BACK!!
After 6 years: Have you cooked?
Phone Ringing:
After 6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
After 6 months: Here, it's for you.
After 6 years: ANSWER THE PHONE!
Cooking:
After 6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good!
After 6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight?
After 6 years: AGAIN!
New Dress:
After 6 weeks: Wow, you look like an angel in that dress.
After 6 months: You bought a new dress again?
After 6 years: How much did THAT cost me?
TV:
After 6 weeks: Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
After 6 months: I like this movie.
After 6 years: I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself!
Once a boy went
to a shop with his mother.The shop keeper looked at the small cute child and showed him a bottle with sweets and said 'Dear Child..u can take the sweets ...but the child didnt take.The shop keeper was surprised ..such a small child he is and why is he not taking the sweets from the bottle.Again he said take the sweets....now mother also heard that and said..beta take the sweets..yet he didnt take...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The shopkeeper seeing the child not taking the sweets...he himself took the sweets and gave to the child......the child was happy to get two hands full of sweets ....
.
.
.
.
.
When returned to home Mother asked child...
Why didnt you take the sweets...when shop keeper told you to take...
.
.
.
.
can you guess the response:
Child replies...Mom! my hands are very small and if i take the sweets i can only take
few..but now you see when uncle gave with his big hands....how many more sweets i got!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Moral:
When we take we may get little but when God gives ....HE gives us more beyond our expectations....more than what we can hold......................
to a shop with his mother.The shop keeper looked at the small cute child and showed him a bottle with sweets and said 'Dear Child..u can take the sweets ...but the child didnt take.The shop keeper was surprised ..such a small child he is and why is he not taking the sweets from the bottle.Again he said take the sweets....now mother also heard that and said..beta take the sweets..yet he didnt take...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The shopkeeper seeing the child not taking the sweets...he himself took the sweets and gave to the child......the child was happy to get two hands full of sweets ....
.
.
.
.
.
When returned to home Mother asked child...
Why didnt you take the sweets...when shop keeper told you to take...
.
.
.
.
can you guess the response:
Child replies...Mom! my hands are very small and if i take the sweets i can only take
few..but now you see when uncle gave with his big hands....how many more sweets i got!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Moral:
When we take we may get little but when God gives ....HE gives us more beyond our expectations....more than what we can hold......................
old n new versions
OLD VERSION...
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
the
ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter,
the
ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he
dies out in the cold.
MODERN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
the
ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter,
the
shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why
the
ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold
and
starving.
NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering
grasshopper
next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled
with food.
The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this
poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house.
Medha
Patkar goes on a fast along with other grasshoppers demanding that
grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter. Amnesty
International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for not
upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper. The Internet is
flooded with online petitions seeking support to the grasshopper (many
promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against
the
wrath of God for non-compliance). Opposition MP's stage a walkout.Left
parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a
Judicial Enquiry.CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing
Ants
from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty
among ants and grasshoppers.
Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian
Railway
Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.
Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the Prevention of Terrorism
Against
Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]", with effect from the beginning of the
winter.
Arjun Singh makes Special Reservation for Grass Hopper in educational
Insititutions & in Govt Services.
The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and, having
nothing
left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
Government and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by
NDTV.
Arundhati Roy calls it "a triumph of justice". Lalu calls it
'Socialistic
Justice'. CPM calls it the 'revolutionary resurgence of the
downtrodden'
Koffi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UN General
Assembly.
Many years later...The ant has since migrated to the US and set up a
multi
billion dollar company in silicon valley.100s of grasshoppers still
die of
starvation despite reservation somewhere in India
OLD VERSION...
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
the
ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter,
the
ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he
dies out in the cold.
MODERN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
the
ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter,
the
shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why
the
ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold
and
starving.
NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering
grasshopper
next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled
with food.
The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this
poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house.
Medha
Patkar goes on a fast along with other grasshoppers demanding that
grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter. Amnesty
International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for not
upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper. The Internet is
flooded with online petitions seeking support to the grasshopper (many
promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against
the
wrath of God for non-compliance). Opposition MP's stage a walkout.Left
parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a
Judicial Enquiry.CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing
Ants
from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty
among ants and grasshoppers.
Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian
Railway
Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.
Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the Prevention of Terrorism
Against
Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]", with effect from the beginning of the
winter.
Arjun Singh makes Special Reservation for Grass Hopper in educational
Insititutions & in Govt Services.
The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and, having
nothing
left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
Government and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by
NDTV.
Arundhati Roy calls it "a triumph of justice". Lalu calls it
'Socialistic
Justice'. CPM calls it the 'revolutionary resurgence of the
downtrodden'
Koffi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UN General
Assembly.
Many years later...The ant has since migrated to the US and set up a
multi
billion dollar company in silicon valley.100s of grasshoppers still
die of
starvation despite reservation somewhere in India
17 signs of falling in Love
SEVENTEEN:
U LOOK AT THEIR PROFILE/PICTURE CONSTANTLY
SIXTEEN:
WHEN YOUR ON THE PHONE WITH THEM LATE AT NIGHT AND THEY HANG UP, YOU
STILL MISS THEM EVEN WHEN IT WAS JUST TWO MINUTES AGO.
FIFTEEN:
YOU READ THEIR TEXTS or IMS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
FOURTEEN:
YOU WALK REALLY SLOW WHEN YOU'RE WITH THEM
THIRTEEN:
YOU FEEL SHY WHENEVER YOU'RE/THEY'RE AROUND.
ELEVEN:
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM, YOUR HEART BEATS FASTER AND SLOWER AT THE
SAME TIME
TEN:
YOU SMILE WHEN YOU HEAR THEIR VOICE.
NINE:
WHEN YOU lOOK AT THEM, YOU CAN'T SEE THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU, All
YOU SEE IS HIM//HER.
EIGHT:
YOU START LISTENING TO SLOW SONGS, WHILE THINKING OF THEM
SEVEN:
THEY'RE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT.
SIX:
YOU GET HIGH JUST FROM THEIR SCENT.
FIVE:
YOU REALlIZE THAT YOU'RE AlWAYS SMILING TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU THINK
ABOUT THEM.
FOUR:
YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM, OR ANYTHING TO SEE THEM.
THREE:
WHILE READING THIS, THERE WAS ONE PERSON ON YOUR MIND THE WHOLE TIME...
TWO:
YOU WERE SO BUSY THINKING ABOUT THAT PERSON, YOU DIDN'T NOTICE NUMBER
TWELVE.
ONE:
YOU JUST SCROLLED UP TO CHECK & ARE NOW SILENTLY LAUGHING AT YOURSELF.
NOW MAKE A WiSH. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.......
*
**
***
**... **
*****
******
... *******
********... *********
*****... ***
*******
****... **
*****
****
... ***
**
*
*
... **
***
****
... *****
******
**... *****
********
*... ********
********
... *******
******
... *****
****
***
... **
*
**
**... *
****
*****
... ******
*******
*... *******
*********
... ********
*******
... ******
*****
... ****
***
IF YOU DIDN'T NOTICE NUMBER 12, POST THIS AS: "17 signs of falling in
LOVE."
SEVENTEEN:
U LOOK AT THEIR PROFILE/PICTURE CONSTANTLY
SIXTEEN:
WHEN YOUR ON THE PHONE WITH THEM LATE AT NIGHT AND THEY HANG UP, YOU
STILL MISS THEM EVEN WHEN IT WAS JUST TWO MINUTES AGO.
FIFTEEN:
YOU READ THEIR TEXTS or IMS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
FOURTEEN:
YOU WALK REALLY SLOW WHEN YOU'RE WITH THEM
THIRTEEN:
YOU FEEL SHY WHENEVER YOU'RE/THEY'RE AROUND.
ELEVEN:
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM, YOUR HEART BEATS FASTER AND SLOWER AT THE
SAME TIME
TEN:
YOU SMILE WHEN YOU HEAR THEIR VOICE.
NINE:
WHEN YOU lOOK AT THEM, YOU CAN'T SEE THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU, All
YOU SEE IS HIM//HER.
EIGHT:
YOU START LISTENING TO SLOW SONGS, WHILE THINKING OF THEM
SEVEN:
THEY'RE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT.
SIX:
YOU GET HIGH JUST FROM THEIR SCENT.
FIVE:
YOU REALlIZE THAT YOU'RE AlWAYS SMILING TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU THINK
ABOUT THEM.
FOUR:
YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM, OR ANYTHING TO SEE THEM.
THREE:
WHILE READING THIS, THERE WAS ONE PERSON ON YOUR MIND THE WHOLE TIME...
TWO:
YOU WERE SO BUSY THINKING ABOUT THAT PERSON, YOU DIDN'T NOTICE NUMBER
TWELVE.
ONE:
YOU JUST SCROLLED UP TO CHECK & ARE NOW SILENTLY LAUGHING AT YOURSELF.
NOW MAKE A WiSH. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.......
*
**
***
**... **
*****
******
... *******
********... *********
*****... ***
*******
****... **
*****
****
... ***
**
*
*
... **
***
****
... *****
******
**... *****
********
*... ********
********
... *******
******
... *****
****
***
... **
*
**
**... *
****
*****
... ******
*******
*... *******
*********
... ********
*******
... ******
*****
... ****
***
IF YOU DIDN'T NOTICE NUMBER 12, POST THIS AS: "17 signs of falling in
LOVE."
Best Break-Up Letter Ever
A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from
his girlfriend back home.
It read as follows:
Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us
is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice,
since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us.
I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love,
Becky..............
The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any
snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or
ex-girlfriends.
In addition
to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other
pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies.
There were 57
photos in that envelope.... along with this note:
Dear Becky,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember which one of them's you.
Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to
me.
A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from
his girlfriend back home.
It read as follows:
Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us
is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice,
since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us.
I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love,
Becky..............
The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any
snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or
ex-girlfriends.
In addition
to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other
pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies.
There were 57
photos in that envelope.... along with this note:
Dear Becky,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember which one of them's you.
Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to
me.
This is Life
When there is no friend, When life is on the dead end, When world is not a paradise, When your confidence dies, Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE! When things don't go right, When there is no ray of light, And its too hard to survive, Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE! When there is competition to face, When you are lagging behind in the race, When you've lost faith in God, When you're betrayed by a fraud, Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE! When others don't respect you, When you're not amongst the admirable few, When for a question, you can't find a solution, When all you're sure about, is confusion, Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE! When your destination is miles apart, When you don't know where to start, When all you see around is pain, When your hardwork is in vain , just think of god ..... and go onnnnn..............
When there is no friend, When life is on the dead end, When world is not a paradise, When your confidence dies, Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE! When things don't go right, When there is no ray of light, And its too hard to survive, Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE! When there is competition to face, When you are lagging behind in the race, When you've lost faith in God, When you're betrayed by a fraud, Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE! When others don't respect you, When you're not amongst the admirable few, When for a question, you can't find a solution, When all you're sure about, is confusion, Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE! When your destination is miles apart, When you don't know where to start, When all you see around is pain, When your hardwork is in vain , just think of god ..... and go onnnnn..............
Regular naps prevent old age
... especially if you take them while
driving.
2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.
3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and
the other is the husband!
4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they
wanted cash.
5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've
purchased new school uniforms.
6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you
cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
8. You can't buy love . . but you pay heavily for it.
9. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
10. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
11. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get
tired.
12. My girlfriend and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she
agrees with me.
13. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
14. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
15. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still
ends up with the same boss.
16. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom
gets to speak.
17. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it
for you.
18. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk
because they have to say something.
19. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address
books
... especially if you take them while
driving.
2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.
3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and
the other is the husband!
4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they
wanted cash.
5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've
purchased new school uniforms.
6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you
cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
8. You can't buy love . . but you pay heavily for it.
9. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
10. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
11. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get
tired.
12. My girlfriend and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she
agrees with me.
13. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
14. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
15. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still
ends up with the same boss.
16. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom
gets to speak.
17. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it
for you.
18. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk
because they have to say something.
19. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address
books
Stupid questions
Stupid Stuff!
Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!
Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built.
Q. Approximately how many birthdays does the average Japanese woman have?
A. Just one. All the others are anniversaries.
Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. He sleeps at night.
Q. Why it is impossible to send a telegram to Washington today ?
A. Because he is dead.
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become ?
A. It becomes wet.
Q. What often falls but never gets hurt ?
A. Rain
Q. What is that no man ever saw which never was but always will be ?
A. TOMORROW
Q. What looks like half apple?
A. The other half.
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A. Dinner.
Q. What gets wet with drying?
A. A towel.
Q. What 3 letters change a girl into a woman ?
A. AGE.
Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A. It caused a revolution.
Q. Why is it easy to weigh a fish?
A. Because it has its own scales.
Q. Why does a bike rest on its leg?
A. Because it is too tyred.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A. liquid
Stupid Stuff!
Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!
Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built.
Q. Approximately how many birthdays does the average Japanese woman have?
A. Just one. All the others are anniversaries.
Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. He sleeps at night.
Q. Why it is impossible to send a telegram to Washington today ?
A. Because he is dead.
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become ?
A. It becomes wet.
Q. What often falls but never gets hurt ?
A. Rain
Q. What is that no man ever saw which never was but always will be ?
A. TOMORROW
Q. What looks like half apple?
A. The other half.
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A. Dinner.
Q. What gets wet with drying?
A. A towel.
Q. What 3 letters change a girl into a woman ?
A. AGE.
Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A. It caused a revolution.
Q. Why is it easy to weigh a fish?
A. Because it has its own scales.
Q. Why does a bike rest on its leg?
A. Because it is too tyred.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A. liquid
Dementia Test
It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercise of
> >the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older,
> >it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!
> >Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.
> >Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The
> >spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your
> >answer.
> >
> >OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
> >
> >1. What do you put in a toaster?
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something else.
> >Try not to hurt yourself If you said, bread, go to Question 2.
> >
> >
> >2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk,"
> >don't attempt the next question.
> >
> >Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with
> >reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World.
> >
> >However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.
> >
> >3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from
> >blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is
> >made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why
> >the heck
> >are you still reading these??? If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.
> >
> >4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over
> >Germany. (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided
> >into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, TWO
> >engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engines are also
> >failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engines
> >fail before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle
> >of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you
> >bury the survivors? In East Germany, West Germany, or in "no man's
> >land"?
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Answer: You don't bury survivors.
> >
> >If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop.
> >If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.
> >
> >OK...PAY ATTENTION NOW
> >
> >5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to
> >Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus; In Reading,
> >six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people
> >get off and four get on. In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get
> >on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In
> >Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford
> >Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
> >Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Now pass this along to all your friends and pray they do better than you.
> >PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!
> >
It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercise of
> >the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older,
> >it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!
> >Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.
> >Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The
> >spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your
> >answer.
> >
> >OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
> >
> >1. What do you put in a toaster?
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something else.
> >Try not to hurt yourself If you said, bread, go to Question 2.
> >
> >
> >2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk,"
> >don't attempt the next question.
> >
> >Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with
> >reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World.
> >
> >However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.
> >
> >3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from
> >blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is
> >made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why
> >the heck
> >are you still reading these??? If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.
> >
> >4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over
> >Germany. (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided
> >into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, TWO
> >engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engines are also
> >failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engines
> >fail before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle
> >of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you
> >bury the survivors? In East Germany, West Germany, or in "no man's
> >land"?
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Answer: You don't bury survivors.
> >
> >If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop.
> >If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.
> >
> >OK...PAY ATTENTION NOW
> >
> >5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to
> >Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus; In Reading,
> >six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people
> >get off and four get on. In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get
> >on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In
> >Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford
> >Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
> >Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Now pass this along to all your friends and pray they do better than you.
> >PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!
> >
A 26-year old
decided to have a cup of coffee. He took a cup of water
and put it in the microwave to heat it up (something that he had done
numerous times before).
One is not sure how long he set the timer for, but he wanted to bring
the water to a boil. When the timer shut the oven off, he removed the
cup from the oven. As he
looked into the cup, he noted that the water was not boiling, but
instantly the water in the cup "blew up" into his face. The cup
remained
intact until he threw it
out of his hand but all the water had flown out into his face due to
the build up of energy. His whole face is blistered and he has 1st and
2nd degree burns to his face,
which may leave scarring. He also may have lost partial sight in his
left eye.
General Electric's (GE) response:
Thanks for contacting us. I will be happy to assist you. The e-mail
that you received is correct. Microwaved water and other liquids do not
always bubble when they
reach the boiling point. They can actually get superheated and not
bubble at all. The superheated liquid will bubble up out of the cup
when it
is moved or when something
like aspoon or tea bag is put into it. To prevent this from happening
and causing injury, do not heat any liquid for more than two minutes
per
cup. After heating, let the cup
stand in the microwave for thirty seconds before moving it or adding
anything into it.
If you pass this on ... you could very well save
someone from a lot of pain and suffering.
decided to have a cup of coffee. He took a cup of water
and put it in the microwave to heat it up (something that he had done
numerous times before).
One is not sure how long he set the timer for, but he wanted to bring
the water to a boil. When the timer shut the oven off, he removed the
cup from the oven. As he
looked into the cup, he noted that the water was not boiling, but
instantly the water in the cup "blew up" into his face. The cup
remained
intact until he threw it
out of his hand but all the water had flown out into his face due to
the build up of energy. His whole face is blistered and he has 1st and
2nd degree burns to his face,
which may leave scarring. He also may have lost partial sight in his
left eye.
General Electric's (GE) response:
Thanks for contacting us. I will be happy to assist you. The e-mail
that you received is correct. Microwaved water and other liquids do not
always bubble when they
reach the boiling point. They can actually get superheated and not
bubble at all. The superheated liquid will bubble up out of the cup
when it
is moved or when something
like aspoon or tea bag is put into it. To prevent this from happening
and causing injury, do not heat any liquid for more than two minutes
per
cup. After heating, let the cup
stand in the microwave for thirty seconds before moving it or adding
anything into it.
If you pass this on ... you could very well save
someone from a lot of pain and suffering.
A middle aged woman
had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God She asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another
43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery,
the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Facelift,
liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair
color.
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well
make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from
the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed
by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you
said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the
path of the ambulance?"
(You'll love this!!!)
God replied,
ooooooops...its you...??? I didn't recognize you."
had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God She asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another
43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery,
the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Facelift,
liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair
color.
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well
make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from
the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed
by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you
said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the
path of the ambulance?"
(You'll love this!!!)
God replied,
ooooooops...its you...??? I didn't recognize you."
Sardar in KBC
1) How long was the 100 yr war?
A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150
Sardar says "I will skip this"
2) In which country are the Panama hats made?
A) BRASIL
B) CHILE
C) PANAMA
D) EQUADOR
Sardar asks for help from the University
students
3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
A) JANUARY
B) SEPTEMBER
C) OCTOBER
D) NOVEMBER
Sardar asks for help from general public
4) Which of these was King George VI first name?
A) EDER
B) ALBERT
C) GEORGE
D) MANOEL
Sardar asks for lucky cards
5) The Canary Islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal:
A) CANARYBIRD
B) KANGAROO
C) PUPPY
D) RAT
Sardar gives up.
If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at our Sardar's replies,
Then please check the answers below:
1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453
2) The Panama hat is made in Equador
3) The October revolution is celebrated in November
4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.
5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA
which means islands of the puppies.
Now tell me who's the dumb one....Don't ever
laugh at a Sardar again
Don't forget that the PrimeMinister of ur country is a sardar..
1) How long was the 100 yr war?
A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150
Sardar says "I will skip this"
2) In which country are the Panama hats made?
A) BRASIL
B) CHILE
C) PANAMA
D) EQUADOR
Sardar asks for help from the University
students
3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
A) JANUARY
B) SEPTEMBER
C) OCTOBER
D) NOVEMBER
Sardar asks for help from general public
4) Which of these was King George VI first name?
A) EDER
B) ALBERT
C) GEORGE
D) MANOEL
Sardar asks for lucky cards
5) The Canary Islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal:
A) CANARYBIRD
B) KANGAROO
C) PUPPY
D) RAT
Sardar gives up.
If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at our Sardar's replies,
Then please check the answers below:
1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453
2) The Panama hat is made in Equador
3) The October revolution is celebrated in November
4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.
5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA
which means islands of the puppies.
Now tell me who's the dumb one....Don't ever
laugh at a Sardar again
Don't forget that the PrimeMinister of ur country is a sardar..
English-Hindi
Some english translate in hindi !!!
Have a nice day!
----- * Achcha din lo!
What's up?
----- *Uppar kya hai?
You're kidding!
----- *Tum bachcha bana rahe ho!
Don't kid me!
----- * Mera bachcha mat banaao!
Yo, baby! What's up?
-----* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?
Cool man!
-----* Thandaa aadmi!
Don't mess with me, dude.
----- * Mere saath gandagi mat karo, e vyakti.
She's so fine!
----- * Woh itnee baareek hai!
Hey good looking; what's cooking?
----* Arrey sundarta ki devi; kya pakaa rahee ho?
Rock the party.
---- * Party mein patthar feko.
And the best ones are.....
How do you do?
----- * Kaise karte ho?
Keep in touch!
----- * Chhoote Raho.
Lets hang out!
----- * Chalo bahar latakte h
Some english translate in hindi !!!
Have a nice day!
----- * Achcha din lo!
What's up?
----- *Uppar kya hai?
You're kidding!
----- *Tum bachcha bana rahe ho!
Don't kid me!
----- * Mera bachcha mat banaao!
Yo, baby! What's up?
-----* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?
Cool man!
-----* Thandaa aadmi!
Don't mess with me, dude.
----- * Mere saath gandagi mat karo, e vyakti.
She's so fine!
----- * Woh itnee baareek hai!
Hey good looking; what's cooking?
----* Arrey sundarta ki devi; kya pakaa rahee ho?
Rock the party.
---- * Party mein patthar feko.
And the best ones are.....
How do you do?
----- * Kaise karte ho?
Keep in touch!
----- * Chhoote Raho.
Lets hang out!
----- * Chalo bahar latakte h
God Too In A Joking Mood...!
A man was praying to god.
He said, "God?"
God responded, "Yes?"
And the Guy said, "Can I ask a question?"
"Go right ahead", God said.
"God, what is a million years to you?"
God said, "A million years to me is only a second."
The man wondered.
Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"
God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."
So the man said, "God can I have a penny?"
And God cheerfully said,
"Sure!.......just a second
A man was praying to god.
He said, "God?"
God responded, "Yes?"
And the Guy said, "Can I ask a question?"
"Go right ahead", God said.
"God, what is a million years to you?"
God said, "A million years to me is only a second."
The man wondered.
Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"
God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."
So the man said, "God can I have a penny?"
And God cheerfully said,
"Sure!.......just a second
Indian Brain - Super Brain
This is not a story but a true incident that happened in USA.*
An Indian man walked into a bank in New York City one day and asked for
the loan officer.
He told the loan officer that he was going to India on business for two
weeks and needed to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of
security for the loan. The Indian man handed
over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the
bank. He produced the title and everything
checked out.
The loan officer agreed to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the
Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as
collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parked it there.
Two weeks later, the Indian returned, repaid the $5,000 and the
interest, which came to $15.41.
The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your
business, and this transaction has worked out very
nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked
you out and found that you are a multi
millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow
"$5,000"
The Indian replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for
two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to
be there when I return'"
Ah, the brain of the Indian... This is why India is shining !!!!!
proud to be one,.,.,
This is not a story but a true incident that happened in USA.*
An Indian man walked into a bank in New York City one day and asked for
the loan officer.
He told the loan officer that he was going to India on business for two
weeks and needed to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of
security for the loan. The Indian man handed
over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the
bank. He produced the title and everything
checked out.
The loan officer agreed to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the
Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as
collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parked it there.
Two weeks later, the Indian returned, repaid the $5,000 and the
interest, which came to $15.41.
The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your
business, and this transaction has worked out very
nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked
you out and found that you are a multi
millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow
"$5,000"
The Indian replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for
two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to
be there when I return'"
Ah, the brain of the Indian... This is why India is shining !!!!!
proud to be one,.,.,
Boss of a big company
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"
"Is your Daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?"
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes," came the answer.
"May I talk with her?"
Again, the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked the child, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes" whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?" asked the boss.
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the firemen," came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice, the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."
Alarmed, concerned, and more than just a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied, along with a muffled giggle
"Me."
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"
"Is your Daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?"
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes," came the answer.
"May I talk with her?"
Again, the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked the child, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes" whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?" asked the boss.
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the firemen," came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice, the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."
Alarmed, concerned, and more than just a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied, along with a muffled giggle
"Me."
Brides wanted..........
Lawyer:
I hereby beg to solicit myself as an …, eligible candidate for the post
of husband after marriage. The person whom,,,,,,,, I’m looking for
should…… strictly a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the
service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. And objection would be
overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in confidence and if you have
the confidence.
Boatman:
Must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have own
boat with motor. Please send the photograph of motorboat.
Shaayar:
Badi muddat ke baad ek arzoo jaagi hai,
Ki hum bhi shadi shuda ho jaye,
Kya vajah shadi karane ki jo kahde sahi sahi,
To yaroo ab khud se kaam ghar ka hota nahi.
Bevda (Drunker):
Wanted a girl. Girl’s gather should preferably have a soda factory. I
am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends come home.
Friends come home only seven times a week. Girl preferred who can carry me
from bar to ghar-bar. Meet personally or send soda for a trial. Sample
should be ample.
Car Mechanic:
Wanted a sturdy wife. Should be in working condition. Should be above
average and must run household at a good average. Dent wont be tolerated
especially in the head gear.
Beggar:
Bhagwan ke nam pe koi ek biwi de de,
Doosre ki nahi to apni de de,
Bhagwan tujhe ek ke badle do dega,
Hillery hogi to Monika bhi dega.
Lawyer:
I hereby beg to solicit myself as an …, eligible candidate for the post
of husband after marriage. The person whom,,,,,,,, I’m looking for
should…… strictly a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the
service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. And objection would be
overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in confidence and if you have
the confidence.
Boatman:
Must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have own
boat with motor. Please send the photograph of motorboat.
Shaayar:
Badi muddat ke baad ek arzoo jaagi hai,
Ki hum bhi shadi shuda ho jaye,
Kya vajah shadi karane ki jo kahde sahi sahi,
To yaroo ab khud se kaam ghar ka hota nahi.
Bevda (Drunker):
Wanted a girl. Girl’s gather should preferably have a soda factory. I
am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends come home.
Friends come home only seven times a week. Girl preferred who can carry me
from bar to ghar-bar. Meet personally or send soda for a trial. Sample
should be ample.
Car Mechanic:
Wanted a sturdy wife. Should be in working condition. Should be above
average and must run household at a good average. Dent wont be tolerated
especially in the head gear.
Beggar:
Bhagwan ke nam pe koi ek biwi de de,
Doosre ki nahi to apni de de,
Bhagwan tujhe ek ke badle do dega,
Hillery hogi to Monika bhi dega.
Signatures wat it tells
SINGLE UNDERLINE BELOW THE SIGN
These persons are very confident and are good personalities. They are a little bit selfish but believe in "Happiness of human life".
TWO DOTS BELOW THE SIGN
These persons are considered to be Romantic, can easily change their fianc?es as if they change their clothes. They prefer beauty in other persons & they themselves try to look beautiful. They easily attract others.
SINGLE DOT BELOW THE SIGN
These persons are more inclined towards classical arts, simple & are very cool. If you loose faith with them, then these persons will never look back at you. Hence its always better to be careful with these people.
NO UNDERLINES OR DOTS BELOW THE SIGN
These persons enjoy their life in their own way, never pay attention to others views. These are considered to be good natured but are selfish too.
RANDOM SIGN, NO SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME & SIGN
These persons try to be very smart, hide each & every matter, never say anything in straight forward manner, never pay attention to the other person of what he is talking of.
RANDOM SIGN, SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME & SIGN
These persons are considered to be intelligent but never think. These people change their ideas & views as fast as the wind changes its direction of flow. They never think whether that particular thing is right or wrong. You can win them just by flattering them.
SIGN IN PRINTED LETTERS
These persons are very kind to us, have a good heart, selfless, are ready to sacrifice their life for the sake of their near & dear. But these seems to think a lot and may get angry very soon.
WRITING COMPLETE NAME AS THEIR SIGN
These persons are very kind hearted, can adjust themselves to any environment & to the person they are talking. These persons are very firm on their views & posses a lot of will power.
SINGLE UNDERLINE BELOW THE SIGN
These persons are very confident and are good personalities. They are a little bit selfish but believe in "Happiness of human life".
TWO DOTS BELOW THE SIGN
These persons are considered to be Romantic, can easily change their fianc?es as if they change their clothes. They prefer beauty in other persons & they themselves try to look beautiful. They easily attract others.
SINGLE DOT BELOW THE SIGN
These persons are more inclined towards classical arts, simple & are very cool. If you loose faith with them, then these persons will never look back at you. Hence its always better to be careful with these people.
NO UNDERLINES OR DOTS BELOW THE SIGN
These persons enjoy their life in their own way, never pay attention to others views. These are considered to be good natured but are selfish too.
RANDOM SIGN, NO SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME & SIGN
These persons try to be very smart, hide each & every matter, never say anything in straight forward manner, never pay attention to the other person of what he is talking of.
RANDOM SIGN, SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME & SIGN
These persons are considered to be intelligent but never think. These people change their ideas & views as fast as the wind changes its direction of flow. They never think whether that particular thing is right or wrong. You can win them just by flattering them.
SIGN IN PRINTED LETTERS
These persons are very kind to us, have a good heart, selfless, are ready to sacrifice their life for the sake of their near & dear. But these seems to think a lot and may get angry very soon.
WRITING COMPLETE NAME AS THEIR SIGN
These persons are very kind hearted, can adjust themselves to any environment & to the person they are talking. These persons are very firm on their views & posses a lot of will power.
Test ..........it works
Check this out....
It Really Worked with me....
Will work with u too...
Here you have a great chance to know about yourself like your character
etc.
This test was devised by biggest university of the world. It tells
about your personality just by your choice.
So know yourself & enjoy
Here it is.....
Imagine you walked into a small hut by the river in the jungle. You
pushed open the door, in front of you were 7 small beds to the right of
the hut,and another 7 small chairs surrounding a small round table. In
the middle of the table was a round food tray with 5 kinds of fruit in
it.
There are:
a. Apple
b. Banana
c. Strawberry
d. Peach
e. Orange
Which fruit will u choose?
Your choice reveals about u!
Pls be very Honest to yourself.....
& Now scroll down for results:
..................
......................
....................................
....................................
....................................
....................................
....................................
.........................
............................
.....................................
...............................................
TEST RESULTS:
Here are the results.
---------------------------
a. if you chosen apple: that means you are a person who loves to eat
Apple
b. if you chosen banana: that means you are a person who loves to eat
Banana
c. if you chosen strawberry: that means you are a person who loves to
eat Strawberry
d. if you chosen peach: that means you are a person who loves to eat
Peach
e. if you chosen orange: that means you are person who loves to eat
Orange
Note: If u r hunting to Punch me.....Well...I am sorry, but its my styleto do things like this; now and always!!!!!
Check this out....
It Really Worked with me....
Will work with u too...
Here you have a great chance to know about yourself like your character
etc.
This test was devised by biggest university of the world. It tells
about your personality just by your choice.
So know yourself & enjoy
Here it is.....
Imagine you walked into a small hut by the river in the jungle. You
pushed open the door, in front of you were 7 small beds to the right of
the hut,and another 7 small chairs surrounding a small round table. In
the middle of the table was a round food tray with 5 kinds of fruit in
it.
There are:
a. Apple
b. Banana
c. Strawberry
d. Peach
e. Orange
Which fruit will u choose?
Your choice reveals about u!
Pls be very Honest to yourself.....
& Now scroll down for results:
..................
......................
....................................
....................................
....................................
....................................
....................................
.........................
............................
.....................................
...............................................
TEST RESULTS:
Here are the results.
---------------------------
a. if you chosen apple: that means you are a person who loves to eat
Apple
b. if you chosen banana: that means you are a person who loves to eat
Banana
c. if you chosen strawberry: that means you are a person who loves to
eat Strawberry
d. if you chosen peach: that means you are a person who loves to eat
Peach
e. if you chosen orange: that means you are person who loves to eat
Orange
Note: If u r hunting to Punch me.....Well...I am sorry, but its my styleto do things like this; now and always!!!!!
Four friends
who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited
>at a party.
>After several drinks, one of the men had to use the restroom.
>Those who remained talked about their kids.The first guy said,
>"My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful
>company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and
>Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate
>ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so
>rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for
>his birthday."
>The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my
>pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went
>to flight school to become a pilot . Eventually he became a
>partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its
>assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new
>jet for his birthday."
>The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in
>the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started
>his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He
>also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best
>friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."
>The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth
>returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the
>congratulations for?" One of the three said: "We were talking
>about the pride we feel for the successes of our son...What
>about your son?"
>The fourth man replied: "My son is a gay and makes a living
>dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."
>The three friends shifted uncomfortably. "Hmmmm, what a shame,"
>one replied. The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's
>my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His
>birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000
>square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line
>Mercedes from his three boyfriends
who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited
>at a party.
>After several drinks, one of the men had to use the restroom.
>Those who remained talked about their kids.The first guy said,
>"My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful
>company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and
>Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate
>ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so
>rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for
>his birthday."
>The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my
>pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went
>to flight school to become a pilot . Eventually he became a
>partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its
>assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new
>jet for his birthday."
>The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in
>the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started
>his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He
>also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best
>friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."
>The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth
>returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the
>congratulations for?" One of the three said: "We were talking
>about the pride we feel for the successes of our son...What
>about your son?"
>The fourth man replied: "My son is a gay and makes a living
>dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."
>The three friends shifted uncomfortably. "Hmmmm, what a shame,"
>one replied. The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's
>my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His
>birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000
>square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line
>Mercedes from his three boyfriends
Once upon a time
in a jungle there was a lioness.But She was unhappy with her life because she was very ugly.Koi bhi lion usko ghaas nahi daalta tha.But the lioness had one speciality..She was very good at hunting..One of the best hunters in the jungle..One day while hunting, the lioness caught hold of an old rabbit.As soon as she was about to kill the rabbit the rabbit pleaded her to spare his life and in return he promised to give the lioness anything she wanted.The lioness gave it a thought and then she finally agreed.She told the rabbit that if he can tell her a way by which she can become a beauty queen, she will spare his life.On hearing this the old wise rabbit pointed towards a nearby hill.On top of it was a large rock.The view from the rock was magnificent.The rabbit told the lioness to go and sit on top of the rock and all her problems will be solved..The lioness thought the rabbit was bluffing her.So she took the rabbit along with her to the rock and gave it a try...And to her surprise It worked!!..Suddenly all the lions were noticing her and she received many proposals for date.She thanked the rabbit for her favour and the rabbit breathed a sigh of relief and hopped away safely to his house..
Now the question is...How did the rabbit solve the problem for the lioness?
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arey answer kya dhoond rahe ho..atleast give it a try.
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give up?
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. Ok heres the answer :- When the lioness sat on the rock she became Sharon Stone (Sher-On Stone).
in a jungle there was a lioness.But She was unhappy with her life because she was very ugly.Koi bhi lion usko ghaas nahi daalta tha.But the lioness had one speciality..She was very good at hunting..One of the best hunters in the jungle..One day while hunting, the lioness caught hold of an old rabbit.As soon as she was about to kill the rabbit the rabbit pleaded her to spare his life and in return he promised to give the lioness anything she wanted.The lioness gave it a thought and then she finally agreed.She told the rabbit that if he can tell her a way by which she can become a beauty queen, she will spare his life.On hearing this the old wise rabbit pointed towards a nearby hill.On top of it was a large rock.The view from the rock was magnificent.The rabbit told the lioness to go and sit on top of the rock and all her problems will be solved..The lioness thought the rabbit was bluffing her.So she took the rabbit along with her to the rock and gave it a try...And to her surprise It worked!!..Suddenly all the lions were noticing her and she received many proposals for date.She thanked the rabbit for her favour and the rabbit breathed a sigh of relief and hopped away safely to his house..
Now the question is...How did the rabbit solve the problem for the lioness?
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arey answer kya dhoond rahe ho..atleast give it a try.
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give up?
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. Ok heres the answer :- When the lioness sat on the rock she became Sharon Stone (Sher-On Stone).
one liners
If you're too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for patience.
I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.
Never try to drown your troubles... especially if he can swim.
Smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking.
Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.On my desk I have a work station.
By the time a man realizes that his father was usually right, he has a son who thinks he's usually wrong.
Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems which, without them, we wouldn't have.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
Girls are like internet domain names... the ones I like are already taken.
There are three sides to every argument: your side,my side and the right side.
An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.
They say hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die
If you're too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for patience.
I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.
Never try to drown your troubles... especially if he can swim.
Smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking.
Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.On my desk I have a work station.
By the time a man realizes that his father was usually right, he has a son who thinks he's usually wrong.
Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems which, without them, we wouldn't have.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
Girls are like internet domain names... the ones I like are already taken.
There are three sides to every argument: your side,my side and the right side.
An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.
They say hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die
which one is you??
Once you have opened this email, there's no turning back. Below are
true descriptions of zodiac signs, with traits from a book written 35
years ago by an astrologist predictionist. Read your sign, then forward
this in a new bulletin with your zodiac sign and label, or you'll get
bad
luck for the number of years stated in your sign description. This is
real shit, try ignoring it, and the first thing you'll notice is having
a horrible day starting tomorrow morning - and it only gets worse from
there.
.:VIRGO:. The Virgin
Dominant in relationships. Sexy. someone loves them right now. Freak in
bed. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Intellectual.
Attractive. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Hard to forget Love at first
sight.
Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. Ultimate
sexiness. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
.:SCORPIO:. The sex addict
Can be mean. EXTREMELY sexy. Intelligent. Energetic. Predict future.
Most erotic. (Freak in bed.) (GREAT kisser.) Always get what they want.
Sexy. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships.
Talkative. The sexiest ever....Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if
you do
not forward.
.:LIBRA:. The lame lover
Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is
one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most
caring person you will ever meet! Amazing n Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing
in
Bed? not the kind of person you wanna #### with... u might end up
crying... the most irresistible. 9 years of bad luck if you do not
forward.
.:ARIES:. The Liar
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontanious. Not one to #### with. Erotic. Funny.
Take you on trips to the moon in bed. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY sexy.
Loves being in long relationships.=) Addictive. Loud. best in bed. 16
years of bad luck if you do not forward.
.:AQUARIUS:. Does it in the water
Trustworthy. Sexy. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in
long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will
exceed your
expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. Amazing in
bed, THE BEST LOVERS BETTER THAN EVERYONE! 2 years of bad luck if you
do not forward.
.:GEMINI:. Does Twosomes
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed. Lover
not a fighter, but will still knock you the #### out. Trustworthy.
Always
happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has
a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. ULTRA SEXY. THE MOST IRRESISTABLE.
9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
.:LEO:. The Lion in bed
Great talker. Sexy and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is
really good at. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth.
Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships.
Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years
of bad
luck if you do not forward.
.:CANCER:. The Cutie
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high ### appeal. Great in bed!!! Love is one
of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet!
Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak in bed.
Spontaneous. Great tellin stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your
lights out
if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad
luck if you do not forward.
.:PISCES:. The Piece of ass
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Too Sexy, DAMN IT. Very
high ### appeal. Has the last word. The best to find, hardest to keep.
Fun to be around. Freak in the sheets. Extremely weird but in a good
way.
Super good in bed. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. A partner for
life. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular.
Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
.:CAPRICORN:. The passioate Lover
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future.
Irrestible, awesome kisser. Loves being in long relationships. Great
talker.
Always gets what he or she wants. BY FAR the BEST in BED. Very sexy.
Coolest. Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke.
Loves to be your first. So you'll never forget. Smart. 24 years of bad
luck
if you do not forward.
.:TAURUS:. The Tramp
Aggressive. Freak in bed. Rare to find! Loves being in long
relationships.=] Likes to give a good fight for what they want.
Extremely
outgoing. Sexy as ........ Loves to help people in times of need.
Outstanding
kisser. Very funny. Awesome personality. Stubborn. Sexual as .........
Most caring person you will ever meet! One of a kind. Not one to ####
with. Are the most sexiest people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you
do not forward.
.:SAGITTARIUS:. The Sexy one
Spontaneous. Horny. Freak in Bed. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when
found. Loves being in long relationships. The one. So much love to
give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to
everyone
They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own
unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in
Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed? Not the kind of person you wanna # #
# #
with you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not
forward.
Once you have opened this email, there's no turning back. Below are
true descriptions of zodiac signs, with traits from a book written 35
years ago by an astrologist predictionist. Read your sign, then forward
this in a new bulletin with your zodiac sign and label, or you'll get
bad
luck for the number of years stated in your sign description. This is
real shit, try ignoring it, and the first thing you'll notice is having
a horrible day starting tomorrow morning - and it only gets worse from
there.
.:VIRGO:. The Virgin
Dominant in relationships. Sexy. someone loves them right now. Freak in
bed. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Intellectual.
Attractive. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Hard to forget Love at first
sight.
Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. Ultimate
sexiness. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
.:SCORPIO:. The sex addict
Can be mean. EXTREMELY sexy. Intelligent. Energetic. Predict future.
Most erotic. (Freak in bed.) (GREAT kisser.) Always get what they want.
Sexy. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships.
Talkative. The sexiest ever....Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if
you do
not forward.
.:LIBRA:. The lame lover
Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is
one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most
caring person you will ever meet! Amazing n Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing
in
Bed? not the kind of person you wanna #### with... u might end up
crying... the most irresistible. 9 years of bad luck if you do not
forward.
.:ARIES:. The Liar
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontanious. Not one to #### with. Erotic. Funny.
Take you on trips to the moon in bed. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY sexy.
Loves being in long relationships.=) Addictive. Loud. best in bed. 16
years of bad luck if you do not forward.
.:AQUARIUS:. Does it in the water
Trustworthy. Sexy. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in
long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will
exceed your
expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. Amazing in
bed, THE BEST LOVERS BETTER THAN EVERYONE! 2 years of bad luck if you
do not forward.
.:GEMINI:. Does Twosomes
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed. Lover
not a fighter, but will still knock you the #### out. Trustworthy.
Always
happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has
a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. ULTRA SEXY. THE MOST IRRESISTABLE.
9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
.:LEO:. The Lion in bed
Great talker. Sexy and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is
really good at. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth.
Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships.
Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years
of bad
luck if you do not forward.
.:CANCER:. The Cutie
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high ### appeal. Great in bed!!! Love is one
of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet!
Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak in bed.
Spontaneous. Great tellin stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your
lights out
if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad
luck if you do not forward.
.:PISCES:. The Piece of ass
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Too Sexy, DAMN IT. Very
high ### appeal. Has the last word. The best to find, hardest to keep.
Fun to be around. Freak in the sheets. Extremely weird but in a good
way.
Super good in bed. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. A partner for
life. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular.
Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
.:CAPRICORN:. The passioate Lover
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future.
Irrestible, awesome kisser. Loves being in long relationships. Great
talker.
Always gets what he or she wants. BY FAR the BEST in BED. Very sexy.
Coolest. Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke.
Loves to be your first. So you'll never forget. Smart. 24 years of bad
luck
if you do not forward.
.:TAURUS:. The Tramp
Aggressive. Freak in bed. Rare to find! Loves being in long
relationships.=] Likes to give a good fight for what they want.
Extremely
outgoing. Sexy as ........ Loves to help people in times of need.
Outstanding
kisser. Very funny. Awesome personality. Stubborn. Sexual as .........
Most caring person you will ever meet! One of a kind. Not one to ####
with. Are the most sexiest people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you
do not forward.
.:SAGITTARIUS:. The Sexy one
Spontaneous. Horny. Freak in Bed. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when
found. Loves being in long relationships. The one. So much love to
give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to
everyone
They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own
unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in
Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed? Not the kind of person you wanna # #
# #
with you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not
forward.
An absolutely Brilliant Joke, ENJOY!!!
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant
you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed
to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman
said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your
husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will
flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the
world. And he will be ten times richer than you. "
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his
is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd
like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers:
This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling
good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times "milder" than his wife!!!
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really
smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show
that women never listen!!!
Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies
who have a good sense :)
Njoy :)
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant
you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed
to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman
said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your
husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will
flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the
world. And he will be ten times richer than you. "
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his
is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd
like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers:
This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling
good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times "milder" than his wife!!!
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really
smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show
that women never listen!!!
Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies
who have a good sense :)
Njoy :)
Strange Human Facts ! ! !
* On average, a 4-year-old child asks 437 questions a day.
* Only 7% of the population are lefties.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
* The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
* It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.
* The average human will eat an average of 8 spiders while sleeping.
* The average women consumes 6lbs of lipstick in her lifetime.
* A human brain weighs about 3lbs.
* 1/4 of the bones in your body are in your feet.
* You blink over 10,000,000 times a year.
* When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop ... Even your heart.
* If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound
energy to heat one cup of coffee.
* Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza a day.
* If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the
energy of an atomic bomb.
* The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30
feet.
* Koala and humans are the only animals with unique fingerprints.
* The scent of apples and/or bananas can help you lose weight.
* The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
* Children grow faster in the spring.
* On average a human will spend up to 2 weeks kissing in his or her lifetime A one-minute
kiss burns 26 calories.
* On average, a 4-year-old child asks 437 questions a day.
* Only 7% of the population are lefties.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
* The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
* It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.
* The average human will eat an average of 8 spiders while sleeping.
* The average women consumes 6lbs of lipstick in her lifetime.
* A human brain weighs about 3lbs.
* 1/4 of the bones in your body are in your feet.
* You blink over 10,000,000 times a year.
* When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop ... Even your heart.
* If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound
energy to heat one cup of coffee.
* Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza a day.
* If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the
energy of an atomic bomb.
* The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30
feet.
* Koala and humans are the only animals with unique fingerprints.
* The scent of apples and/or bananas can help you lose weight.
* The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
* Children grow faster in the spring.
* On average a human will spend up to 2 weeks kissing in his or her lifetime A one-minute
kiss burns 26 calories.
Why are Men Happier
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
· Your last name stays put.
· The garage is all yours.
· Wedding plans take care of themselves.
· Chocolate is just another snack.
· You can be President. You can never be pregnant.
· You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
· You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
· Car mechanics tell you the truth.
· The world is your urinal.
· You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
· You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
· Wrinkles add character.
· Greying hair adds attraction.
· People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
· The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
· New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
· Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
· A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
· You can open all your own jars.
· If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
· Your underwear is Rs.150 for a three-pack.
· Two pairs of shoes are more than enough.
· You almost never have strap problems in public.
· You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
· The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
· You only have to shave your face and neck.
· You can play with toys all your life.
· Your belly usually hides your big hips.
· One wallet, one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons.
· You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
· You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
· You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
· You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happi
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
· Your last name stays put.
· The garage is all yours.
· Wedding plans take care of themselves.
· Chocolate is just another snack.
· You can be President. You can never be pregnant.
· You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
· You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
· Car mechanics tell you the truth.
· The world is your urinal.
· You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
· You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
· Wrinkles add character.
· Greying hair adds attraction.
· People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
· The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
· New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
· Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
· A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
· You can open all your own jars.
· If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
· Your underwear is Rs.150 for a three-pack.
· Two pairs of shoes are more than enough.
· You almost never have strap problems in public.
· You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
· The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
· You only have to shave your face and neck.
· You can play with toys all your life.
· Your belly usually hides your big hips.
· One wallet, one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons.
· You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
· You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
· You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
· You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happi
Laws of Girls
Laws of Girls..... Very true…………..
1. If u think a girl is beautiful, she'll always have a boyfriend to
confirm that
2. the nicer she is...the quicker u will be dumped!!!!!
3. The more the makeup, worse the looks...
4. "95% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 5% would
always be around you...
5. The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.
6. If by any chance the girl you like , likes you too, she will let you
know in about 10 years from now ,when you are committed to some one
else
7. The more you ignore a girl, the more she'll want to be friends with
you.
8. Theory of relativity......
The more u run towards a hot chick....the more she goes away from u...
9. Rule 1:
Even if you got her out alone... just when you are about to let her
know
about your feelings...she will spot a long lost friend( I guess from
Kumbh ka Mela)
Corollary to rule 1:
The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private
chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a
handsome superman, who beats you in everything 9:1
Axiom 1:
The more dedicated you are to the girl, the longer it takes before
things work out, but ultimately it will (somesmile for the guys) not always…
10. the day the chick you really like comes and speaks to you will be
the day when-
1. You are dressed badly
2. You forgot to brush your teeth for the first time in your life
3. You have a bad hair day
11. all the good girls are either nuns or married .the rest go around
with u and ruin ur money,health and leave u a total wreck.
Laws of Girls..... Very true…………..
1. If u think a girl is beautiful, she'll always have a boyfriend to
confirm that
2. the nicer she is...the quicker u will be dumped!!!!!
3. The more the makeup, worse the looks...
4. "95% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 5% would
always be around you...
5. The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.
6. If by any chance the girl you like , likes you too, she will let you
know in about 10 years from now ,when you are committed to some one
else
7. The more you ignore a girl, the more she'll want to be friends with
you.
8. Theory of relativity......
The more u run towards a hot chick....the more she goes away from u...
9. Rule 1:
Even if you got her out alone... just when you are about to let her
know
about your feelings...she will spot a long lost friend( I guess from
Kumbh ka Mela)
Corollary to rule 1:
The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private
chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a
handsome superman, who beats you in everything 9:1
Axiom 1:
The more dedicated you are to the girl, the longer it takes before
things work out, but ultimately it will (somesmile for the guys) not always…
10. the day the chick you really like comes and speaks to you will be
the day when-
1. You are dressed badly
2. You forgot to brush your teeth for the first time in your life
3. You have a bad hair day
11. all the good girls are either nuns or married .the rest go around
with u and ruin ur money,health and leave u a total wreck.
A VERY CUTE CouPLE
This is a between a girl and a boy on their 7th year anniversary
girl calls up boy: hey happy anniversary again
boy: hi happy anniservary!... hey remember you wanted to tell me
something after school? sorry i left so early i had to go to work. so
what
did you want to tell me?
girl: i wanted to say i love you
boy: yeah i know everyone does!
girl: really?
boy:yeah... everyone of my friends that are girls tell me that everyday
girl: oh... but am i only your friend?
boy: no... youre my girlfriend... why?
girl: so when i say i love you i really do mean it
boy:yeah i know you do mean it...its just that you dont need to tell me
that you love me anymore cuz i know you love me since the day we been
together and i love you more each and everyday.
girl: ......
boy: so wanna go somewhere tonight for our 7th anni?
girl: yeah... where?
boy: i dont know... maybe movie then dinner?
girl: ok
boy:ill pick you up after i get off and get ready ok?
girl: ok. what time do you get off?
boy: in 2 hours and then i gotta go home and yeah get ready which takes
about 15-20 mintues...
girl: aye... i thought you didnt have work today...
boy: one of my co-workers called in sick
girl: oh okay! so ill see you around 7:30 then?
boy: yeah! and babe?
girl: yeah?
boy: i love you
girl: i love you too!
boy: ok my manager is like looking at me so yeah.... i gotta go.
girl: ok bye
boy:bye
2 hours later... the boy drives to his girlfriends house boy walks up
to the door and rings bell
girl: hey! (gives a kiss to her boyfriend)
boy:wassup... you ready?
girl:um... wait... let me get my bag and we could go ok?
boy:ok
they both watched a movie and ate dinner.... once they were done eating
they head back to the car but before she got into the car...
boy:wait! can i blind fold you?
girl: why??!
boy:its a suprise
girl: what kind of suprise?
boy: a big one
girl: okay but only if you promise me that you will hold my hand while
we're driving.
boy: i promise.
girl: ok blind fold me...
so they drove off........... and then they stoped.
boy:ok we're here!
girl: where?
boy:wait let me walk you to the place!
girl: what place?
boy: somewhere! (and gives a kiss to her on the lips)
girl: babe!...
the boy walks her to the place
boy: ok.... let me take the blind fold off
girl: where are we?
he takes it off her and she opens her eyes and sees the view of the
city and at that same spot... thats where he first asked her to be his
girlfriend...
girl: omg.... (tears come down)
boy: why are you crying?
girl: this is where you first asked me out...
boy: what are you doing the rest of your life? (he asked on his knees
and after he says that...behind him... in the air it says will you
marry
me?" in firworks)
girl: (tears come down faster)
boy: i wasnt at work when you called me... i was planning this whole
thing!
girl: get up!
boy: yeah?
girl: (kisses him)
boy: is that a yes or a no?
girl: yes
iF YOU DO NOT REPOST THiS YOU WiLL HAVE THE loneliest LiFE! but iF YOU
DO REPOST THiS YOU WiLL HAVE A RELATiONSHiP THAT wiLL lAST FOREVER!
you have 3 mintues to repost this....starting
This is a between a girl and a boy on their 7th year anniversary
girl calls up boy: hey happy anniversary again
boy: hi happy anniservary!... hey remember you wanted to tell me
something after school? sorry i left so early i had to go to work. so
what
did you want to tell me?
girl: i wanted to say i love you
boy: yeah i know everyone does!
girl: really?
boy:yeah... everyone of my friends that are girls tell me that everyday
girl: oh... but am i only your friend?
boy: no... youre my girlfriend... why?
girl: so when i say i love you i really do mean it
boy:yeah i know you do mean it...its just that you dont need to tell me
that you love me anymore cuz i know you love me since the day we been
together and i love you more each and everyday.
girl: ......
boy: so wanna go somewhere tonight for our 7th anni?
girl: yeah... where?
boy: i dont know... maybe movie then dinner?
girl: ok
boy:ill pick you up after i get off and get ready ok?
girl: ok. what time do you get off?
boy: in 2 hours and then i gotta go home and yeah get ready which takes
about 15-20 mintues...
girl: aye... i thought you didnt have work today...
boy: one of my co-workers called in sick
girl: oh okay! so ill see you around 7:30 then?
boy: yeah! and babe?
girl: yeah?
boy: i love you
girl: i love you too!
boy: ok my manager is like looking at me so yeah.... i gotta go.
girl: ok bye
boy:bye
2 hours later... the boy drives to his girlfriends house boy walks up
to the door and rings bell
girl: hey! (gives a kiss to her boyfriend)
boy:wassup... you ready?
girl:um... wait... let me get my bag and we could go ok?
boy:ok
they both watched a movie and ate dinner.... once they were done eating
they head back to the car but before she got into the car...
boy:wait! can i blind fold you?
girl: why??!
boy:its a suprise
girl: what kind of suprise?
boy: a big one
girl: okay but only if you promise me that you will hold my hand while
we're driving.
boy: i promise.
girl: ok blind fold me...
so they drove off........... and then they stoped.
boy:ok we're here!
girl: where?
boy:wait let me walk you to the place!
girl: what place?
boy: somewhere! (and gives a kiss to her on the lips)
girl: babe!...
the boy walks her to the place
boy: ok.... let me take the blind fold off
girl: where are we?
he takes it off her and she opens her eyes and sees the view of the
city and at that same spot... thats where he first asked her to be his
girlfriend...
girl: omg.... (tears come down)
boy: why are you crying?
girl: this is where you first asked me out...
boy: what are you doing the rest of your life? (he asked on his knees
and after he says that...behind him... in the air it says will you
marry
me?" in firworks)
girl: (tears come down faster)
boy: i wasnt at work when you called me... i was planning this whole
thing!
girl: get up!
boy: yeah?
girl: (kisses him)
boy: is that a yes or a no?
girl: yes
iF YOU DO NOT REPOST THiS YOU WiLL HAVE THE loneliest LiFE! but iF YOU
DO REPOST THiS YOU WiLL HAVE A RELATiONSHiP THAT wiLL lAST FOREVER!
you have 3 mintues to repost this....starting
ENGLISH OF A DESI TEACHER
In class :
* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
* Open the doors of the window. Let the air force come in.
* Cut an apple in two halfs - take the bigger half.
* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away outside
* Both of you three, get out of the class.
* Close the doors of the window.
* Take Copper Wire of any metal specially of Silver.
* Take 5 cm wire of any length.
* Today my Head-ache is paining.
* Outline your pages of journals...By Order..
* Tomorrow there will be a " sudden surprise " test.
* Those who want to appear for the test they will appear...
Rest will disappear.!
In class :
* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
* Open the doors of the window. Let the air force come in.
* Cut an apple in two halfs - take the bigger half.
* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away outside
* Both of you three, get out of the class.
* Close the doors of the window.
* Take Copper Wire of any metal specially of Silver.
* Take 5 cm wire of any length.
* Today my Head-ache is paining.
* Outline your pages of journals...By Order..
* Tomorrow there will be a " sudden surprise " test.
* Those who want to appear for the test they will appear...
Rest will disappear.!
45 Things Girls Love
1-touch her waist
2-talk to her
3-share secrets
4-give her your jacket
5-kiss her slowly
<<>>
6-hug her
7-hold her
8-laugh with her
9-invite her somewhere
10-let her be with you when you're
with your
friends
<<>>
11-smile with her
12-take pics with her
13-pull her onto your lap
14-when she says she loves you more,
deny it.
fight back
15-when her friends say i love her
more than you,
deny it. fight back and hug her tight
so she cant
get to her friends. it makes her feel
loved
<<>>
16-always hug her when you see her
17-kiss her unexpectedly
18-***HUG HER FROM BEHIND AROUND THE
WAIST!!!***
19-tell her shes beautiful not sexy!
20-tell her the way you feel about her!
20-u need to show her you mean it too
21-kiss her on the lips
22-DONT ask her to buy you stuff. you
buy HER
stuff
23-TELL HER WHAT FEELS GOOD
24-make her feel loved
25-buy her stuff. small things can
still help
<<>>
26-DON'T LIE TO HER.
27-DON'T CHEAT ON HER.
28-take her anywhere she wants
29-txt messege or call her in the
morning and tell
her have a good day, and how much you
miss
her!!!!
30-be there for her when ever she
needs you, &
even when she doesn't need you, just
be there so
she'll know that she can always count
on you
<<
31. Hold her close when she's cold and
she can
hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close
and kiss
her.
33. Kiss her on the tip of her nose;
(it will give her
the hint that you want to kiss them).
34. While in the movie, put your arm
around her
and then she will automatically put
her head on
your shoulder, then lean in and tilt
her chin up and
kiss her lightly.
35. Dont ever tell her to leave even
jokingly or act
like you're mad. If shes upset,
comfort her
<<
36. When people diss her, stand up for
her.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell
her you love
her.
38. Lay down under the stars and put
her head on
your chest so she can listen to the
steady beat of
your heart, Link your fingers together
while you
whisper to her as she rests her eyes
and listens
to you.
39. When walking next to each other
grab her
hand.
40. When you hug her hold her in your
arms as
long
as possible
41. Call her at night to wish her
sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and
wipe away her
tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night
44. Dedicate a song to her.
45. Always Remind her how much you
love her.
<<
repost this in 20 sec. or you will
lose the one you
care about the most!!!
Guys Repost: "i would do this for her"
1-touch her waist
2-talk to her
3-share secrets
4-give her your jacket
5-kiss her slowly
<<
6-hug her
7-hold her
8-laugh with her
9-invite her somewhere
10-let her be with you when you're
with your
friends
<<
11-smile with her
12-take pics with her
13-pull her onto your lap
14-when she says she loves you more,
deny it.
fight back
15-when her friends say i love her
more than you,
deny it. fight back and hug her tight
so she cant
get to her friends. it makes her feel
loved
<<
16-always hug her when you see her
17-kiss her unexpectedly
18-***HUG HER FROM BEHIND AROUND THE
WAIST!!!***
19-tell her shes beautiful not sexy!
20-tell her the way you feel about her!
20-u need to show her you mean it too
21-kiss her on the lips
22-DONT ask her to buy you stuff. you
buy HER
stuff
23-TELL HER WHAT FEELS GOOD
24-make her feel loved
25-buy her stuff. small things can
still help
<<
26-DON'T LIE TO HER.
27-DON'T CHEAT ON HER.
28-take her anywhere she wants
29-txt messege or call her in the
morning and tell
her have a good day, and how much you
miss
her!!!!
30-be there for her when ever she
needs you, &
even when she doesn't need you, just
be there so
she'll know that she can always count
on you
<<
31. Hold her close when she's cold and
she can
hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close
and kiss
her.
33. Kiss her on the tip of her nose;
(it will give her
the hint that you want to kiss them).
34. While in the movie, put your arm
around her
and then she will automatically put
her head on
your shoulder, then lean in and tilt
her chin up and
kiss her lightly.
35. Dont ever tell her to leave even
jokingly or act
like you're mad. If shes upset,
comfort her
<<
36. When people diss her, stand up for
her.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell
her you love
her.
38. Lay down under the stars and put
her head on
your chest so she can listen to the
steady beat of
your heart, Link your fingers together
while you
whisper to her as she rests her eyes
and listens
to you.
39. When walking next to each other
grab her
hand.
40. When you hug her hold her in your
arms as
long
as possible
41. Call her at night to wish her
sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and
wipe away her
tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night
44. Dedicate a song to her.
45. Always Remind her how much you
love her.
<<
repost this in 20 sec. or you will
lose the one you
care about the most!!!
Guys Repost: "i would do this for her"
Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Anthony's Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Kovac's Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.
Cannon's Karmic Law:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
O'brien's Variation Law:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Bell's Theorem:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Ruby's Principle Of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Willoughby's Law:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Zadra's Law Of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Breda's Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Owen's Law:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Anthony's Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Kovac's Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.
Cannon's Karmic Law:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
O'brien's Variation Law:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Bell's Theorem:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Ruby's Principle Of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Willoughby's Law:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Zadra's Law Of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Breda's Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Owen's Law:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold
Tongue Twisters
1.If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
2.I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
3.Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
4.A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.
5.Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People
6.If you understand, say "understand". If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand".How do I understand that you understand? Understand!
7.I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
8.Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"
9.Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.
10.SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES
11.The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.
12.If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?
"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"
13.We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.
14.Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
15.A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue
16.If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.
17.Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
1.If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
2.I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
3.Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
4.A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.
5.Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People
6.If you understand, say "understand". If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand".How do I understand that you understand? Understand!
7.I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
8.Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"
9.Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.
10.SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES
11.The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.
12.If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?
"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"
13.We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.
14.Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
15.A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue
16.If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.
17.Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
Indian Mother
A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, "Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. Later, he says, "Okay Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The one on the right." " That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
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The Indian mother replies, "I don't like her."
A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, "Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. Later, he says, "Okay Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The one on the right." " That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
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The Indian mother replies, "I don't like her."
MELTING PRINCESS
Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter, the princess!
But there was a problem
<>
Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what; metal,
wood, plastic- anything she touched would melt. Because of this,
men
were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The king
despaired.
What could he do to help his daughter. He consulted his wizards and
magicians. One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one
thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."
The king was overjoyed. The next day, he held a
competition. Any man that could bring his daughter
an object that would not melt would marry her and
inherit the king's wealth. Three young princes took
up the challenge. The first prince brought a very
hard alloy of titanium. But alas, once the princess
touched it, it melted. The prince went away sadly.
The second prince brought a huge diamond, thinking that
diamond is the hardest substance in the world and surely,
it would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched it,
it melted. He too was sent away disappointed.
The third prince approached. He told the princess,
"Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in
there." The princess did as she was told, though she
turned red. She felt something hard. She held it in
her hand. And it did not melt!!!
The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.
And the third prince married the princess and they both lived
happily ever after.
But The Question Is :
What was the object in the prince's pants?
( scroll down )
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They were Britannia Little Hearts of course!
They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter, the princess!
But there was a problem
<>
Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what; metal,
wood, plastic- anything she touched would melt. Because of this,
men
were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The king
despaired.
What could he do to help his daughter. He consulted his wizards and
magicians. One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one
thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."
The king was overjoyed. The next day, he held a
competition. Any man that could bring his daughter
an object that would not melt would marry her and
inherit the king's wealth. Three young princes took
up the challenge. The first prince brought a very
hard alloy of titanium. But alas, once the princess
touched it, it melted. The prince went away sadly.
The second prince brought a huge diamond, thinking that
diamond is the hardest substance in the world and surely,
it would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched it,
it melted. He too was sent away disappointed.
The third prince approached. He told the princess,
"Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in
there." The princess did as she was told, though she
turned red. She felt something hard. She held it in
her hand. And it did not melt!!!
The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.
And the third prince married the princess and they both lived
happily ever after.
But The Question Is :
What was the object in the prince's pants?
( scroll down )
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They were Britannia Little Hearts of course!
They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
Think simple, Live simple..
There was a millionaire who was bothered by severe eye pain.
He consulted so many physicians and was getting his treatment
done. He did not stop consulting galaxy of medical experts; he consumed
heavy loads of drugs and underwent hundreds of injections.
But the ache persisted with great vigour than before. At last a monk
who has supposed to be an expert in treating such patients was
called for by the millionaire.
The monk understood his problem and said that for sometime he
should concentrate only on green colors and not to fall his eyes on any
other colors.
The millionaire got together a group of painters and purchased
barrels of green color and directed that every object his eye was likely
to fall to be painted in green color just as the
monk had directed.
When the monk came to visit him after few days, the
millionaire' s servants ran with buckets of green paints and poured on him
since he was in red dress, lest their master not see any other color and
his eye ache would come back.
Hearing this monk laughed said "If only you had purchased a pair of
green spectacles, worth just a few rupees, you could have saved
these walls and trees and pots and all other articles and also could
have saved a large share of his fortune.
You cannot paint the world green." Let us change our vision and the
world will appear accordingly. It is foolish to shape the world, let us
shape ourselves first.
Lets change our vision..!!
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Think simple, Live simple..
There was a millionaire who was bothered by severe eye pain.
He consulted so many physicians and was getting his treatment
done. He did not stop consulting galaxy of medical experts; he consumed
heavy loads of drugs and underwent hundreds of injections.
But the ache persisted with great vigour than before. At last a monk
who has supposed to be an expert in treating such patients was
called for by the millionaire.
The monk understood his problem and said that for sometime he
should concentrate only on green colors and not to fall his eyes on any
other colors.
The millionaire got together a group of painters and purchased
barrels of green color and directed that every object his eye was likely
to fall to be painted in green color just as the
monk had directed.
When the monk came to visit him after few days, the
millionaire' s servants ran with buckets of green paints and poured on him
since he was in red dress, lest their master not see any other color and
his eye ache would come back.
Hearing this monk laughed said "If only you had purchased a pair of
green spectacles, worth just a few rupees, you could have saved
these walls and trees and pots and all other articles and also could
have saved a large share of his fortune.
You cannot paint the world green." Let us change our vision and the
world will appear accordingly. It is foolish to shape the world, let us
shape ourselves first.
Lets change our vision..!!
********
Think simple, Live simple..
Definitions of Designations
Wonderful definitions of designations at office:
1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.
And lastly..
9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby……………..
Wonderful definitions of designations at office:
1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.
And lastly..
9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby……………..
IIM Marketing Concept
A Professor at one of the IIM's ( INDIA ) was explaining marketing concepts to
the Students:-
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." - That's Telemarketing
4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:
By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - That's Public Relations
5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and
says: You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - That's Customer Feedback
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
"I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - That's demand and supply gap
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before
you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you
marry me?" and she goes with him - That's competition eating into your
market share
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before
you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - That's restriction
for entering new markets
A Professor at one of the IIM's ( INDIA ) was explaining marketing concepts to
the Students:-
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." - That's Telemarketing
4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:
By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - That's Public Relations
5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and
says: You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - That's Customer Feedback
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
"I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - That's demand and supply gap
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before
you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you
marry me?" and she goes with him - That's competition eating into your
market share
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before
you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - That's restriction
for entering new markets
C,C++,Project Manager
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on
display.
While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the
shopkeeper,
"I'll have a C monkey please."
The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and
took out a monkey.
He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, that'll
be $5000." The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said,
"That was a very expensive monkey. Why did it cost so much?"
The shopkeeper answered,
"Ah, that monkey can program in C very fast, tight code, no bugs, well
worth the money."
The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even
more expensive! $10,000!What does it do?"
"Oh, that one's a C++ monkey;
it can manage object- oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java.
All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey
in a cage of its own.
The price tag around its neck read $50,000.
He gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the other
put together! What on earth does it do?" T he shopkeeper replied,
"Well, I haven't actually seen it doing anything, but the other
monkeys call him the project manager."
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on
display.
While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the
shopkeeper,
"I'll have a C monkey please."
The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and
took out a monkey.
He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, that'll
be $5000." The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said,
"That was a very expensive monkey. Why did it cost so much?"
The shopkeeper answered,
"Ah, that monkey can program in C very fast, tight code, no bugs, well
worth the money."
The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even
more expensive! $10,000!What does it do?"
"Oh, that one's a C++ monkey;
it can manage object- oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java.
All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey
in a cage of its own.
The price tag around its neck read $50,000.
He gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the other
put together! What on earth does it do?" T he shopkeeper replied,
"Well, I haven't actually seen it doing anything, but the other
monkeys call him the project manager."
Always tell your wife the truth.
A lady tells her husband to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. He
walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a
nearby
bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman
and
starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads
to
another and they end up in her apartment. After they've had their fun,
he
realizes its 3AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to kill
me. Have you got any talcum powder?" She gives him some talcum powder,
which he precedes to rub on his hands and then he goes home.
His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty angry.
Where
the hell have you been?"
Well, honey, it's like this. I went to the store like you asked, but
they
were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw
this
great looking girl There and we had a few drinks and one thing led to
another and I ended up in Bed with her.
"Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!" She sees his hands are covered with
powder and says..."You God damn liar!!! You were playing pool again!!!"
Moral of the story:
Always tell your wife the truth. She won't believe you anyway. At least
your conscience is clear.
A lady tells her husband to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. He
walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a
nearby
bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman
and
starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads
to
another and they end up in her apartment. After they've had their fun,
he
realizes its 3AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to kill
me. Have you got any talcum powder?" She gives him some talcum powder,
which he precedes to rub on his hands and then he goes home.
His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty angry.
Where
the hell have you been?"
Well, honey, it's like this. I went to the store like you asked, but
they
were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw
this
great looking girl There and we had a few drinks and one thing led to
another and I ended up in Bed with her.
"Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!" She sees his hands are covered with
powder and says..."You God damn liar!!! You were playing pool again!!!"
Moral of the story:
Always tell your wife the truth. She won't believe you anyway. At least
your conscience is clear.
Newton Commited Suicide??
Here is the reason. Why Newton Committed Suicide.....
Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his
head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics
were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had
done.
In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that
he went paranoid.
Here are a few scenes
1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't
be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great
Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet
passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is
cured!
Long Live Rajanikanth!
2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters.
Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife.
Guess,
what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the
bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces,
which
kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the
knife kills the middle one.
3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but
no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest
imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the
gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his
revolver and
catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires
his gun. Bang... the gangster dies...
This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and
decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last
time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of
physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the
world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!
The 'climax' finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain
is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth
can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that
our
heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain
because it's the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually
impossible?) Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He
throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height
of
the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first
gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
Newton commits suicide...
Here is the reason. Why Newton Committed Suicide.....
Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his
head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics
were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had
done.
In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that
he went paranoid.
Here are a few scenes
1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't
be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great
Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet
passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is
cured!
Long Live Rajanikanth!
2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters.
Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife.
Guess,
what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the
bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces,
which
kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the
knife kills the middle one.
3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but
no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest
imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the
gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his
revolver and
catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires
his gun. Bang... the gangster dies...
This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and
decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last
time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of
physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the
world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!
The 'climax' finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain
is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth
can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that
our
heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain
because it's the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually
impossible?) Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He
throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height
of
the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first
gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
Newton commits suicide...
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